This is very frustrating and you may have become locked in a cycle of nagging, sulking or both. I know it's a generalisation but I think men tend to dig their heels in when they feel under attack. He probably thinks you are making a fuss about nothing because he doesn't understand how it makes you feel. It is not just about the cleanliness of your home, it is about feeling taken for granted, disrespected and eventually unloved. If you have been nagging apologise - that gives you back the moral high ground. Then explain how his behaviour makes you feel and then try the problem solving route with lists of jobs etc. He needs to see that this is a relationship issue - it is not about dusting.

Take a very matter-of-fact, problem-solving approach to this. Draw up a list of chores that simply must be done regularly, then ask your husband to sit down with you and go over the list together, specifying which chores each of you will accept. He may want to add some things that he already does that aren't on your list, like gardening. If he won't even sit down with you, then do those chores that you would do if you were single, and think about counseling to find out why your husband is unwilling to be an equal partner in your marriage. You deserve better. Good luck.

Personally, I'd stop doing his washing/ironing etc, but there again, I never was one to back away from a fight! He's just a lazy beggar, happy in his belief that housework is a womans work. Until you disabuse him of this notion, he'll carry on the way he is. A lot of this kind of behaviour is down to being spoilt rotten by their mothers - little do they know how much damage they do!

Can you pay someone to come in, while he's there, to clean through for you? You could have someone to vacuum and polish, clean the bathroom and perhaps do some ironing or shopping. Seeing someone else around his home or thinking about the money its costing may just encourage him to help out some. Just make sure your cleaner isn't likely to find him attractive (or vice versa) or you may have more to worry about!!! If you both work this may help you to spend more quality time together instead of doing house work when you are off work at the same time.