Why don't you go to a strip clup with him and have a lapdance together. Me andmy bf did that the other week and it really turned him on seeing me having a lapdance. Some strippers don't mind performing for a couple. I have told him though that I don't mind going with him but if he went and had one on his own I couldnt forgive him easily. Just try and makeit an experience for the 2 of you. You might enjoy it and I bet he will too.
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Topics: relationships forgiveness men
How to forgive him for paying for a lap dance
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It depends on the circumstances I suppose. If he was on a stag night and couldn't avoid it (with his mates etc) then I could understand that and forgive it as a one off. However, if he went alone, thats a different matter. He needs to explain why he did it, he needs to acknowledge your hurt, betrayed feelings and anger and swear not to repeat his actions. Then I think you should move on, try not to mistrust him next time he's out, give him the option of being truthful and trusted not to do this again.
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I'm sure he wasn't intending to hurt you. And guys like to be pleased visually. They can't help it! Either way, It has nothing to do with anything you did wrong and it most definitly doenst have to do with your newborn son. I think he was over stressed with the birth of a child and needed to chill out.
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Examine the facts and really look at the details. What was he doing there? If he was out the boys then peer pressure probably played a part in this. In that case bury the hachet fast. Be honest and consider what you'd do with the girls if you a chance to dance with a male stripper. If he won't alone then examine your relationship and consider two options, should you hire a thearipist or learn some new moves and gave him a lap dance at home?
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i'm a lapdancer and can honestly say it is harmless fun. Some men have come in for dances then a few minutes afterwards in conversation have stated they're gonna go home and give their other half a 'good time' when they get home... My point is that yes, they get turned on by the dancers, but it goes no further than that and their sexual thoughts return to their partner and what they'll do to them when they get home. Most lapdancers have morals and do the job purely for money. I and my fellow dancers I work with keep things strictly professional and the men respect that too. He may have had a lapdance, but the rules are strict and it's you he goes home to.
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After allowing the time for you two to process the betrayal of your relationship - if you see it as such - extract a promise from him not to do it again. This is in return for your own promise not to bring it up every time he does something else stupid and boorish.
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Well the lap dance probably hurt your feelings. but don't blame the girl, she was just doing her job. blame him for paying her to do it. If you tell him he can go to those places anytime he wants, he more than likely won't go. If he goes on a continuous bases, get rid of him. You are more than enough entertainment for him.
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It depends on the parameters of your relationship - he might not have known this would hurt you so much. Only you know if you can forgive him and if you can, move on and look ahead to the good times. If he did this despite knowing how you'd feel, is he really worth staying with as it becomes more about a violation of trust than just a lap dance. Good luck.
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Out weigh the reasons he gave you and what you both have together. If the latter is more important to you, then time and allowing your pain and disappointment to be aired, when needed, will give you the strengh to forgive. (But not forget!)
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Try to get over it. He's only human.... In some cultures men have multiple families. Tell him you didn't like it, and next time to remember you.
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you have to realize that, it was better he watched a woman dance on him rather than sleep with the woman. Its better his not cheating on you, and frankly why dont you ask him WHY he did it because maybe its a problem between your relationship as to why he feels the need to do that if everythings fine in your relationship?
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dont get mad get even go to a strippers night
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I agree with EK. Forgiving him will happen in your own time, you can't force something like this. But if you are serious about wanting to make this work regardless of his mistake then you will also have to understand that you shouldn't bring it up again in future. The way that I look at it is- if I have made a mistake and am truly sorry my boyfriend won't mention it again as it's pointless to dwell on the past. Bringing it up once you've moved on will only open old wounds.
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i also think you should go to a strip club and have a lapdance, and see how he feels about it. i personally think, that a lapdance falls under cheating. i mean, if my boyfriend got a lapdance i would feel that he cheated on me. to go and enjoy the scenery is another thing, that would be fine with me, it would still hurt but i would be fine with it.
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Don't make too big a deal out of it. The minute you start feeling all insecure and clingy they use it as an excuse and tell you they may as well do it, because you don't trust them anyway. Like others have said he may have just done it for fun and because guys get so visually turned on they can often look at the body parts without actually seeing the girl and it takes them much longer to put a feeling to a situation than it does for us girls!!
