This is so easy to solve! With respect, if he's married then he's off limits. You've known him for 20 yrs then you also know his wife/children. What a betrayal if you dare take it further than friendship, how many lives may be devastated (temporarily). I have married men as friends and their wives know full well the nature of our friendship. My husband trusts me absolutely and that will never be abused. Don't go there, its not worth it. If its an unhappy marriage I suggest strongly that he gets out of the marriage and sorts those problems out first, before having 'a bit on the side'. Do you really want a name for yourself among your circle of family and friends? eg we call my friends exhubby as 'twit with an a' and her 'the slapper'!!!

Never mind that it's never a good idea to involve yourself with that man. You already know this. If you've been in love with him for some time, whatever you're currently doing isn't working. You need to distance yourself from him, both physically and emotionally. Think about the things he does that annoys you - and know that if you do get involved with him, these things will exponentiate. From what I've observed, men and women who pine after the same unavailable person tend to be caught in a rut. If that's the case for you, do something that takes you outside of yourself. Volunteer somewhere. Take a class in something that you normally wouldn't consider Anything to bring some sort of change to your life and get you out of where you are now.

Remind yourself that the way you treat others (in this case his wife) is the way you expect to be treated. Do you want someone seducing your man? Well then forget about falling in love with the married man. If you're married make a list of what you love about your spouse. If you're not married realize that if this guy is willing to cheat on his wife he will cheat on you. Keep the love plationic.

A married man brings so many complications in many peoples lives. Dependings how long you've known him and how long the affair has gone on, but this cannot happen. Like Masi said, if he was willing to cheat on his wife, he will not think twice of doing it with you. Your biggest problem is how not to fall in love with him? Think about his wifes problems if she found out? The whole, divorce, moving out, taking the kids and piecing her life back together. You know this man is an "out of bounds area" like others said, how would you feel if your bf/hubby cheated on you? You'll never have 100% love with him, you only have him for the % of time that his wife doesnt, why settle for that when you can find someone who loves you 110% without restrictions?