Make sure to have some sort of thing the guests can nibble on after dinner as well, such as dried fruit, nuts, small cookies, etc.
And recruit a helper to assist in clearing off the table, etc. Having two or three folks wisking away the dishes makes it go a lot faster and you can get back to talking with your friends that much faster.
Most of the suggestions here sound very pompous and too much like hard work. Just buy some decent food from Marks and sparks, turn into your own dishes, add a few touches, buy plenty of drinks light some candles, put on your best smile and enjoy. :)
All great ideas. I have just one more suggestion. Water at the table. I'd only been serving wine for years and years. Last Thanksgiving while I was setting the table, I added a glass of ice water at everyone's place. They ALL drank it.
Don't be too adventurous with the cooking, unless you're a complete whizz at it. People have come for the conversation, not your twice baked cheese souffles, so you don't want to spend all your time in the kitchen beforehand, and slumped exhausted into a bottle of red wine afterwards.
There is nothing worse than one hostess or both host and hostess being away from the table between courses, flapping in the kitchen when guests are left to talk among themselves. As long as everyone has enough to drink, take it in turns to be away from the table and plan the dinner so that there is minimal cooking time once the party is underway.
I always drink wine while I cook before anyone arrives. As the hostess, you have to be engaging and loose and make everyone feel comfortable - which you can't do unless you feel that way yourself! Don't drink too much, but enough that you feel like you can command the crowd during the first few awkward conversations.
Don't depreciate the value of your cooking before anyone's even taken a bite. It can be construed as fishing for compliments, plus nobody would probably even notice the little things you're disclaiming. Just let the food be enjoyed and conversation focus on other things. And if something really is bad, don't be overly apologetic. Just note it and move on. Usually there is too much food anyway.
Likewise, don't go on and on about the recipes and steps of your creations -- unless asked directly. For those of us who really enjoy cooking, this can be difficult to not describe the cooking experience, but if your guests wanted that level of detail, they'd have stayed home to watch the Food Network instead.
1. Dinner party = appetizer, salad, entree, two side dishes, dessert
2. Make at least two of these things the day before (salad, dessert). Do not make things you have not made before.
3. Remember, if it sucks, all things can be purchased and pizza can be ordered and no one will care. Think of Bridget Jones and the blue soup.
4. Do not freak about the cleaning. Tidy up, do a quick sweep or mop. Do not sweat it.
5. Always leave one or two simple things until the last minute. Someone always shows up early, and giving them a cucumber to chop or a drink to mix puts them at ease and helps you out too. (I like letting the men light the candles, they like the fire.)
Don't rely on your guests to bring booze. Assume they're all appalling (if loveable) flakes and ensure you have enough to keep it going into the night. Even if only the first three bottles or so are half decent - no-one will notice after a bit. If your guests do the right thing and bring bottles with them, you can keep the excess until you're invited to a party and you haven't lost any money. (And if someone doesn't bring a bottle twice in a row, either ask them outright to bring one, or don't invite them back again. Ungrateful sods.)
-cook dishes you have practiced
-consider a buffet for more than 6 people
-put flowers in small vases so they are not obstacles to conversation
-have non-alcoholic drink options
-set your table the day before
-if it's sit down, you will need: appetizer (cheese & fruit is easy), salad, entree, 1 side and dessert. Sorbet with fruit sprig and mint is always an easy & pretty finish. That way you can focus on home-cooked dishes for the main meal.
Having had many dinner parties, I share & suggest
the following:
Don't depend on your friends to make that "special
dish" incase they don't show. Let their contribution
be something that, without, won't ruin your menu.
Have fun readying your home for the party. As far
as houskeeping; vacuum, shine mirrors & glass surfaces. Make sure the bathroom is clean, new roll of t.p. and fresh hand towels or cloths.
Votive candles are lovely. As for flowers, keep 'em simple. Small bunches are easier to navigate than tall arrangements.
Have something for your arriving guests to nibble on...people tend to get grumpy when they're left
hungry & waiting for the meal.
Set up a self serve bar area...it's a great way to
get people to mingle.
I don't use place cards. I find it controlling and people will move their cards to where they want to sit regardless.
Play music. Have fun and your guest will follow...
Place your guests with some thought to their interests and temperaments so that everyone has the best possible time. You may have to give some people one bore and one star, but that’s better than two bores!
Relax. Nothing throws off a great dinner party like a tense host. At the end of the day, the perfect wine pairings, guest seating arrangement, and fabulous food are lost if you guests think you are taking this whole thing too seriously. People will have just as much fun with Pizza Bagels if you let them.
And always have a fabulous dessert - its really what people will remember.
First off who cares about whose wine you use, if you want to use a guests they brought it for you, you decide. If you would like to save it use your own. I would say use what goes best with your meal.
Second invite people who will be compatible, or if different are not opposed to one another.
Third cook an incredible meal if you can cook, if not get something prepared by someone else so you don't worry about screwing it up or spending all night in the kitchen.
Most of all just remember to make your guests feel your warmth as a hostess and how happy you are to have their presence for the occassion.
Be strong, if you are going to buy it, prepare it, serve it and then clean up after it, you should only invite guests who will bring something to the table. I'm seriously considering 'girls only' dinner parties as it's usally the men that just don't get how hard the hostess has worked! We could all of course consider doing an 'end of dinner party vote where everyone votes on the best guest of the evening - maybe even with a little prize!
Have a crowd made up of very different people(for instance,the fashionistas,the music junkies,the clowns,the wine conoisseurs,et cetera((and not to forget the photographers to take pictures of the good time you'll be having)) ) to mix around with.also,great music never fails to please
I like to cook or prep as much as I can ahead of time (bake sweets & freeze for instance) then take it out the morning of so I look very much like I'm Martha Stewart.
Send flowers that are already aranged (by the florist) that are low enough to see over at the table,the morning BEFORE the dinner. SO useful and always appreciated.
What is it with the wines and cheap dinners?If you want to be a hostess, then be a hostess. Cook fabulous meals- or hire someone, or ask for help- clean the house, decorate the table, smile and care for your guests' comfort. In any way. Watch out for allergies. You would like your party to be remembered as an incredible event, don 't you? And, please, don 't order pizza. People will laugh at you when they leave the house (or even worse, while waiting for the delivery boy to come...)
Dont stress, If your having a dinner party, you should know most of the people.I understand that there may be a few people that wont know others,the best way to break the ice is to get them to arrive the same time and have them help you arrange the things, setting the table or getting the drinks ready or anything else you might need help with. This way you are giving them a reason to talk to each other and have them get along.You know them. Feel comfortable with your choices. Dont do anything that will stress you out, and that includes the cooking and drinks, they will feel if you are stressed and that will cause them to feel stressed. And try to join everyone in the conversation, there is nothing more pleasent than having a good conversation. If that exists they wont take notice of anything else.
As for the food...it's helpful to record menus that worked for you in a special book along with notes on what might be fun to add or change. (If you're really OCD, you could even include the grocery list.) That way you don't have to recreate the wheel every time!
I always like to have background music at my dinner parties unless I know for sure they don't like music. Does anyone feel dinner parties and music don't mix?
Set the table the day before. Do as much preparation as you can in advance.
Make at least two things for the freezer well in advance. Like soup (you can decorate it with a spoon of creme fraiche and a some snipped chives) and a chocolate mousse.
Make individual vegetable terrines in ramekins with three different coloured vegetables. Carrots, celeriac and spinach for instance. Just puree them and put in layers in the dish. These can be made the day before and microwaved and popped on the plate just before serving. No pans to wash up on the night!
The best dinner parties are one in which the host or hostess is having as much fun as the guests. Have everything ready to go when guests arrive, so you are able to mingle with the guests. If you in the kitchen too much that makes guests uncomfortable (should I help her? does she want to be left alone?). Also, if you have cooked for two days straight, never let your guests know. They will feel bad - I promise!
Yes! Music should be listened to in silence, with concentration and imagination. Music at dinner parties is just Musak, designed to hypnotise. Also, for anyone with hearing aids, background music completely spoils the conversation, and after asking people to repeat what they say for half an hour, people just sit back and think longingly of bedtime. Background music is never to the taste of all the guests, and is usually extremely irritating.
My dining room is painted cranberry red. Table cloth black with red organdie runners across it. I put mirrors in the centre of my table and cover them in tea lights. I put candles everywhere I can around the room preferably on mirrors. No centre lights! Sit people next to others they don't know preferrably. Learn a few jokes or funny stories beforehand for any breaks in the conversation. If you are not a confident cook then do big dishes of simple food and salad. Keep the wine flowing. Set the scene theatrically and you will all have a great time.
I never go over the top with table decorating for my girlfriends - it makes some people nervous to be around a highly arranged table.
Your friends should know what you are like so be yourself. Make cocktails...cosmo's always go down well at mine, and they are fun!
If it's a birthday meal, make fun grown up party bags - try ann summers for fun fillers, and some old skool sweeties.
Mostly enjoy it, and if the food goes wrong, who cares. In hindsight you'll all laugh about it at the next meal!!!