Him receiving mysterious 'phone calls where he only answers in monosyllables ( Mmmm, yes, no, ok).
Arranging to meet up with mates and being coy about telling you where he's going then not being obtainable while he's out.
Saying he's bought himself clothes (especially around his birthday or Christmas) or other items when he wouldn't normally.
New underwear (my ex actually had a pair of purple silk boxers - big alarm bells).
Making more effort in his appearance.
Visiting his mum more often, doing overtime, going to the gym (Oh Yeh!), more miles on his car milometer than there should be.
The other woman (or slapper as she should be known) will do all she can, usually, to help the wife find out so look out for perfume smells, lipstick marks, greetings cards he's hidden.
Oh! I could write a book ...
Real life advice from real women
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Topics: relationships relationships men
How to know if he is cheating on you
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When the love bug strikes him, the first thing he will want to do is communicate. My first 2 husbands actually talked non stop about the heat seeking hairpins that latched onto them. Her name would crop up in the unlikeliest of scenarios and with the most tenuoius of connections, e.g. "Thanks. That meal was great! That reminds me, did you know that (Sue/Carol/Morticia) is thinking of buying a new dishwasher?"...
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If you really believe that your husband is cheating or something then first you need to find out why! Could you really leave not knowning why?It would eat me up inside if i didnt! The first thing you need to do is talk, be patient with him and ask the questions you wish to be answered. If he gets angry with you, make sure you stay calm so that things dont turn too ugly, just stop and listen to what he has to say, then ask your question again. If he is getting angry he may have something to hide so keep asking your question untill he gives you a REAL answer. Why does he have YOUR close mates number and texting her, and even pictures! If he thinks your paranoid there is obviously a reason for you to be! x
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Sometimes taking a step back from a situation can allow it to come into focus. Sit down with him and explain how you are feeling, and what you're thinking. It's not acceptable for him to call you paranoid! If he doesn't want to talk about it etc tell him you need some time to think about things and go and stay with a friend/relative for a couple of days. Having some time apart may allow you to both reflect on the situation properly. If you don't want to do that, maybe you should sit down with your 'close mate' and ask her what's going on. Explain what you've found and ask her to explain... It may not be easy, but it is most definitely necessary.
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Let no one tell you are paranoid. There is always a reason behind someone telling you such. I think you have three things you could do:1 talk to him- you need answers and do not be fobbed off! If he wont give such answers get away for couple nights- with an actual decent friend who will look after you. You are a strong woman but we all need someone to look after us in times of need. 2. your 'close mate' ask her, tell her what you have seen and quote the txts if you can. Then ditch her- she is no friend. 3. look at your options- you will never alone and it will always get better but professional advice is always useful and can help to support you. No one has the right to make you unhappy and betray you- maybe think about what you want now.
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They take more interest in their appearance - buying new designer stuff when they wouldn't normally Buying new aftershave Loosing weight Changing taste in food, music, interests Coming home late from work, having meetings which always overrun Phone is switched off because they are in meetings supposedly Finding hairs in the car Keeping their phone attached to them at all times, when normally they would leave it lying around ensuring the bills are sent to work (if its a contract phone) Keeping the peace all the time - thats if they feel guilty If you feel like you suspect something is wrong then 9 times out of 10 it is becuase they are being unfaithful
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He will have his phone attached to him at all times and my ex used to have his switched off until he went to the toilet !! Always trust your gut instinct if you have thought for some time that something is up then it probably is !
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It is maddening to be suspicious of your guy - much better to be sure that you are not going crazy.So...get hold of one of those hand held voice activated dictation machines and leave it switched on and hidden in the car, bedroom or other likely place and retreive it when safe to do so. Knowledge is power and once you know of any romantic plans they have in mind, you can have great fun giving them the runaround. For ultimate pleasure, post the tape anonymously to his office and be very sweet to him when he gets home. That should really screw him up!
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Your boyfriend or husband will seem overly irritated with you and will criticize you for just about everything you do (this allows him to rationalise his behavior to himself, making you look bad in his own eyes). He will spend hours on his mobile phone, always out of earshot, saying it was the office again. He will keep his mobile phone attached to his body, evening taking it into the bathroom, so you can't read any incriminating texts. He will repeatedly come home later than he said he was going to - always having a good excuse. He will discourage you from accompanying him to events, work functions etc.
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- He doesn't text back or call, and when you ask he says that his phone ran out of battery, every time! - He randomly buys you a gift, no occasion in particular, just 'feels like it'. This is not always the case but sometimes guys feel guilty that they are cheating on their gf and so buys them gifts to resolve that guilty feeling, even though their gf is oblivious to it. - He spends less time with you but more time arguing about small things that he never use to be bothered about. He could be trying any possible way to make you want to end the relationship, not him.
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When you notice a sudden interest in the way he dresses and/or the music on his MP3 changes to a very different genre- its time to assume that something's up.
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Over-elaborate on why he was late/not answering the phone etc. He will think that having such a detailed excuse will convince you its the truth however in reality if he was just working late he would probably tell you he was 'just working late' and not add the little drama to his excuse.
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All the above - but also if he accuses you of being unfaithful, or flirting with other people with no justification. Being critical of your appearance. A change in the pattern of your sex life - some men will go off sex, others will not be able to get enough of you all of a sudden when before they had no interest. Go by your gut feeling, it is usually the correct one.
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A sudden change in mood is one clue, especially if he is overly defensive and starts getting secretive about bills. Also beware if is moody and wants you to account for your evrey move and who you talk to (that might know him).
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If you have a strange gut feeling he isnt tellling the truth or something doesnt feel right, if he hides his mobile and suddenly has to go on regular 1 or 2 night courses, you can guarantee that he is playing away. Confront him and if he denighs it he has confirmed it by himself. Be strong and deal with it there and then.
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If he suddenly loses interest in sex with you, starts wearing aftershave and taking more care than usual with his appearence, going on over night unexpected courses, hiding his mobile or checking it excessively, making excuses about going to certain places and if you have an overiding gut feeling that he is lieing or being evasive with you then the odds are that he definitely has someone else.
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Has his behaviour changed so that he seems more secretive or guarded than usual? Things like not telling you who a phone call was from, or spending a lot of time on the phone away from your hearing. If he is doing this and seems quieter than normal, or seems to be on edge, that could be a sign.
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Look at all the entries on a similar topic on this site - how to tell if your husband is cheating on you. It all applies to boyfriends too. If he is cheating deal with it and don't settle on being second best to anyone, for anyone.
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Last year my boyfriend was working late or "out with friends" all the time. I checked his mobile phone and found suggestive texts from one specific mobile phone number! I contacted a private detective who linked it to a female living in SW London! The next time he was "out with friends" I went to the address and there was his BMW !! Game Over !!
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1. The person never invites you to dinner in his or her neighborhood. At first this might seem generous, but after a few dates this morphs into dubious behavior. Basically, this person doesn’t want to be seen when out with you. 2. Your date prefers to stay at your apartment—giving you lame excuses for why you can’t come over to his or her place. Maybe if you did, you’d figure out the real deal—fast! 3. Your new honey pushes you to sleep together very, very quickly. (This might be because his or her paramour is conveniently out of town, and this person doesn’t want to waste the free night’s opportunity.)
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4. Some of the compliments bestowed on you sound clichéd and memorized, like... “You are just a little bit irresistible.†Or this person pulls you close, and says, “Why are you standing so far away from me?†If your date walks and talks like a player, he or she could indeed be a player! 5. Your sweetie goes on a lot of business trips—even on weekends. Leading a double life, anyone? 6. When away on business, this new love of yours doesn’t provide details about what activities are occurring—and doesn’t share the name and phone number of a hotel, either. Um, maybe because your special someone isn’t away on business?
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7. You start to notice that your new honey prefers to email you rather than call you. (This could be because his or her partner is in the other room.) 8. Often when this person calls you, the calls are (a) kept short, (b) end abruptly, and/or (c) conducted in a barely audible voice. All signs that someone else may be in the picture. 9. When you first meet this love interest, you’re only given a work number—and getting a cell-phone number is very slow-going... (probably out of fear that you’ll call when he or she is out with the significant other).
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10. Your new love is rarely available on weekends or national holidays — claiming business needs — or that family crisis. 11. Your sweetie is always at work late… hmm. 12. This person is very vague with details about past relationships. (This could be because an “ex-paramour†is actually a now-paramour.) 13. Your new honey repeats the same stories—because he or she has forgotten who’s been told what.
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14. When spending time with you, this person has frequent excuses to go for little walks with cell phone in hand. For example, your sweetie may claim to make a business call and that there’s bad cell phone reception where you are sitting. Or your new love seems to go to the restroom far too frequently—and for far too long. This is a sign that the individual is working on covering for the fact that he or she is out with you! 15. When with you, he or she doesn’t want to pick up certain calls in your presence. Gee, wonder why not? 16. This person is constantly online, even when with you, checking emails. And if you come close when he or she is online, poof! The window on the computer is immediately closed so you can’t see what was going on.
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17. Your date never ever leaves his or her cell phone or BlackBerry out where you might see it. It provides too many clues! 18. Your date’s co-workers or friends seem a bit uncomfortable in your company. 19. You find out this person has friends who are players. (Often a group of immoral friends can work as a support system for each other’s immoral activities.) 20. You find out that your honey bunny cheated in past relationships. Statistically speaking, cheaters are suspect for cheating again.
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I love the female species, because we have special things like intution I was ok around my partner until about 6 months into our relationship, suddenly I was acting "paranoid", us women arent paranoid we just know whats going on, but cant put our fingers on it. Well my ex partner, stop having sex, always went out on weekends, his phone got glued to his hand and even went to the bathroom with it! He stopped texting me, yet his phone bill was always huge and credit disappeared. He always named drop saying its just "Mark" when texts where coming every 2 minutes! Even at 4am! Stop giving me a kiss when coming home from work, and went straight into the shower, probably to wash off his lady smell. Always got very snappy, and defensive.
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Then tries and accuses you who is cheating yet cant back up his theory with why he thinks it. Then when I managed to get near his damn phone, I saw loads of texts from someone he called "Kian" obviously a decoy from the real name and saw such texts like...you coming to pick up buster babe? When confronted, he said he was buying a dog off her? Bit to comfortable in my liking to call a stranger "Babe" when buying a dog. He always picked fight, and 3 were in our relationship, me, him and his mobile! What a nightmare..trust me, you'll know if hes cheating, your intution will tell you.
