What is the rush? Why would you rush into the one thing in the world you can't reverse? If you love each other and already live together why not just enjoy each other's company and your freedom for a year or so? What about getting married? Are your family worried that the relationship won't last or that you aren't mature enough? Why would they think that? (Sorry, a lot of questions and not many answers there!)
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Topics: pregnancy
How to know at 19 if you're both old enough to start a family when you can provide for it but your family disapproves
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live a little first - if you are both so certain you want to do the most life-changing thing in the world (and which will tie you together for the rest of your lives whether the relationship works or not) then why not plan it "we know we'll be together in two/five/ten years, and we'll start a family then".
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I see you're planning your wedding, but I think your family are right. Do you know how stressful planning a wedding can be?? Add a baby on top of that and you've potentially got a recipe for a break up. Not saying it will happen to you, but I know of at least two people that it's happened to Enjoy your youth now (I sound like a granny!) and have fun, have a fun filled wedding and once-in-a-lifetime honeymoon. When all that's over, then think about babies.
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If you haven't been together long & your only 19 it sounds like a bad idea!! You've got plenty of time ahead of you, just live together for a while and see how that pans out before rushing into having something as serious as a baby!
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Biologically speaking, NO, you are not too young for a baby. Any woman can who menstrates can have a baby. However, the fact that you ask this question, having a new relationship and knowing how your family would feel about it, makes me think that you are not mature enough to raise and care for a baby.
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If you aren't getting married, that kind of sends the message that you aren't comitted to eachother. I don't mean to be rude, but how can you start a family at such a young age and not even be committed parents. That sounds harsh but i'm laying it out straight for you. Just because you have a job now, doesn't mean that you will later. Working and having a baby is extremely difficult. You really really have to think about everything. If you are going to breastfeed you can't work unless you know the baby will take a bottle and you pump. Formula bottles and nipples are INSANELY expensive. It sounds to me like you haven't really thought this through. Don't rush your life. Even if you have terminal cancer .
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My solution to making any decisions of this magnitude is to wait a year. If after a year the idea still seems like the best thing since sliced bread than proceed. And during that year, REALLY take a look at why you and he want a baby. Also, you might want to weekend babysit for other folks so you can get some experience at looking after one. A lot of folks have children without realising what a life-changing event it is and they can get pretty overwhelmed.
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Whose baby is this going to be? Your parents? If you and your boyfriend have talked it though, you have a stable relationship, can provide financially and feel ready, it is your decision. No one elses. If you dont think your parents will approve, do you think they might change their mind when they see thier grandchild? Dont worry what anyone else thinks, it is up to you and your partner.
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Hey! Firstly, I think opinions may differ from continent to continent. All the advice in the world can't predict if you and your partner will be together forever. You could both be in your 30's+ and could still end up split or divorced. The question should be are you capable of being a good mother? Most families come around eventually especially where grandchildren are involved. It can be hard having kids at any age,but older mums do have their probs too, even when they are convinced they're ready.
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its your life. you want a kid, do it. you can afford it, you want to and your in a secure situation. your family shouldn't evn come into it, its not their life its YOURS. imagine if you do everything in your life depending on their opinion. they should respect your own decision and not force you to feel bad about making your own.
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Please live a little first!!!, travel, enjoy the world cos when you have children it will change things for ever and tie you down. Make the most of the time you have now, don't get tied down too soon with responsibilities is the best advice I can give!!!. Children are hard bloody work, dont let anyone tell you otherwise. Great fun but hard hard work too. Cheersx
