Dump him. The resentment will never go away and you will always feel as though you're not good enough for him. You deserve a partner who does not make an issue over weight and who loves you for yourself, not withhold affection and make you feel unattractive.
Real life advice from real women
More Tips Tagged "romance"
More tags
french
water retention
grandma
piercing
glamourous
handbag
time
leather
dry hair
death
tradition
help
dessert
flying
cheating
safe
family
public
insulation
height
mccain
satin
grief
kids
renovations
friendships
seeds
phoning in sick
safety
tomatoes
halloween
cheeks
sellotape
fat
pianos
dinners
fake tan
watering
picnics
yellow
furniture
indigestion
etiquette
parties
pies
overweight
scent
save money
descale
kitchen
plane crash
houseshare
rodents
stain removal
straighteners
earrings
engagement
curry
Swimming
romance
pins
neck
feet
anxiety
popular
dentist
krispy kreme
shave rash
lose
gravy
mornings
driving
eye
heart defect
toddlers
society
toddler
Missing
fitness
dates
insect
sexy
vegetable beds
refrigerator
husband
high heels
pimples
long-distance
skinny
dating
palms
Control Freak
suicide
dryers
resentment
soda bottles
fashion
post
squeeking
burglars
blisters
uniform
tiredness
therapy
Topics: romance relationships
How to respond to a partner who makes you feel unattractive and withholds affection because he says you've put on weight
-
He is behaving insensitively (at best) and you must be feeling really down about it. Playing devil's advocate though, do you need to start by asking yourself whether it is true? Nothing would stop me from loving my partner but it is true that if he really put on a substantial amount of weight he might be less sexually appealing to me. There is a chance that this is a crass attempt to shock you into doing something that will benefit your health and your relationship. Do you really look very different from the way you looked when the relationship began? If so, it may be a hard truth and you will have to decide whether you want to do anything about it. Ultimately, what matters is how you feel about your weight, we can't diet for other people.
-
I'm not an expert on this, but firstly i would tell him how you feel and tell him you feel unattractive and tell him that you don't like him pressuring you to exercise. He needs to realise that he needs to take you as you are. If you are happy the way you are, then its ok. If you do wanna do some exercising, do it the fun way if you dont like going the gym or anything. Go clubbing or something that is gonna have you dancing on the dancefloor all night. My mom does this once a week and its done her really good.
-
Weight comments are sometimes a way to alter the balance of power in a relationship. He makes you feel bad about yourself, therefore you're more and more grateful that he still wants you in his life. I'm no expert and don't know you and your fella, but is there a chance he's getting his kissing and hugging elsewhere? That could explain the nasty comments - is he comparing you with someone else? Sorry, probably not what you wanted to hear, but I do believe that knowledge is power.
-
There are so many "it depends whether..." options here. Having said that I personally feel that there is never an excuse for making a partner feel unloved for such a shallow reason and I don't think I would stay with somebody if they treated me that way. However, if you've been together a long time and this is way out of character, you do need to dig a bit deeper into his thinking. There may be more to it. Whatever else you do, please, please keep your sense of self worth.
-
Personally, I'd be so offended that I would just act the bitch and point out one of his major flaws that I have had to deal with for heaven knows how long. However, never criticize his penis size.
-
my ex did this too me. when i told him he was wrong and should never of said it. thought he was right and thought i was wrong. twat. lets just say after that he lasted about 2 weeks! dumb his ass. no one deserves to be treated like that.
-
All the above tips are great. Depending on the definition of put on "weight" is it merely you going from a size 8 to a 10? Or have you put on alot, such as several stone? My ex bf, didnt like when I put on weight even though I was pregnant! git! but Im a slender size 10, and even he said he didnt like it and made me wear more tracksuit bottoms and baggy tops. #1 Dont let him critcize you and make you into something you're not. If you're happy with your size and how you look, he should be happy that you are happy. #2 If need be, tell him his flaws, whether its physical or emotional. Tell him his flaw is being an insensitive git what should keep his mouth shut. Continued
-
#3 If you like, I know I did this, my bf always made comments that I would never get anyone else, he loved controlling me, and said no one would love me like he did. How wrong! I went clubbing, and got loads of guys wanting my number, I told my bf later which was growling from the side lines, Im not so unattractive now, am I? #4 If a man like your bf, sees that maybe you are a little vulnerable and down about your weight, he sees this as an opportunity to gain control. Best way for this is to dump him, he should love you for you, and no matter what happens, he should stand by you . Do not, let him hold your weight against you as a gun and almost blackmailing you, by holding affection until you lose weight, this is not fair.
-
In sorry but dump him comes immediately to mind. Yes on one hand and maybe perhaps he is worried about your health if you have gained weight. But if he loved you he wouldnt withold affection. That wont make you lose weight you will only do more of whatever it is your doing now. That is pure control freak. Im betting if it wasnt your weight it would be your taste in clothes or wallpaper!! Hon you dont need this from anyone you deserve better than that.
